See Me Now!

Did I mention I was losing my hair? This has been going on since November. Not clumps, but strands. After every shampoo there's a big shmooshy mound of hair at the drain. I can even see my scalp now, which I barely could before.

GoodFriend suggested I take the issue to a dermatologist. I went earlier this week and should get blood test results back by Friday.

Hopefully the tests will confirm what the doctor suspects: weaning off both prednisone and an anti-depressant may be the cause.

So, BOOP and prednisone are still causing me to examine my body and my relationship with it.

Before I was sick and before I took prednisone, I had a different attitude toward my body and my ailments. I didn't want pictures taken of me because I was embarrassed about how overweight I was.

Prednisone taught me how to accept and work with the body I have. The sickness led to yoga which is teaching me every day that my body is still alive, still breathes and still, despite my age, can become more supple.

Prednisone taught me that everything is relevant. After seeing photos of myself from the summer, at the height of my "moon-face-ness," to me I look gorgeous now. I can accept the signs of aging a little bit easier.

Interestingly, folks at synagogue have stopped by over past few weeks to tell me again, and again how "great" I look. I know they really mean the bloating is gone, but as MyMan pointed out (he was reading my very thoughts at the time), they probably never "saw" me before I was sick. (He's so smart! He's also funny, but that's another story.)

When I became bloated it was sudden and our friends and acquaintances hadn't captured a memory of how I looked as a "regular" person. Now that the bloating is gone, they're actually seeing me for the first time.

Embracing how I look now has also led to embracing my age, and accepting the limitations that come with it. I don't know how one led to the other. Perhaps examining myself honestly in the mirror has led to this. My age and my appearance will be real issues as I begin to plan to head back to work in the coming months.

Speaking of work, or as Maynard G. Krebs used to say, "Work???," I plan to report on my search for a new professional path, in coming blogs, as well as:

• a viral rumor and how it swirled around us, and
• herbs and liver (really).

Adios for now & Happy Birthday of the Trees!